thankful thursday 19

Sutro Baths Engagement Photographer | Joanna & Will

I am thankful for…

Friends. I just came back from a trip to Yosemite with my college friends and was reminded of how great it is to be surrounded by friends.  I’m rarely in a group of friends hanging out and spending time together.  Usually I’m spending one on one time with my friends, and even that is sparse.  So to be with a group of great people for an entire weekend was pretty marvelous… And just a little fun fact, most of them were introverts so we all allowed each other some alone/recharging time. win!

California weather. Oh man. It felt like 80 degrees the other day, and it’s almost November! I’ve been to three states in the past two months and California really is by far, hands down the best! You just can’t beat this warm, dry, brisk weather.  uggggg. I’ll miss this when I move!

Inspiring books. Oh wow. I’ve been reading some good books and listening to some awesome podcasts recently.  All of which have been a good kick-in-the-pants to get some work done and start some awesome projects.

My family.  So above all else, I’ll miss my family when I move.  I’ll miss the hang outs and the crazy family gatherings and all the family gossip.  It’s really been great to see my family pull together for weddings and parties and holidays.  I hope the babies don’t forget me!

Heavy blankets. Heavy blankets are like a getting a great hug/snuggle while I sleep.  It’s felt so good to be in my own bed, sleeping alone in my room.

Work. I’m glad I have work!

Water. I was sooooooo dehydrated over the past couple of weeks.  I take for granted that East Bay faucet water is soooo delicious. When I’m at home I drink about 2 or 3 liters a day.  When I was traveling I really didn’t drink any water.

Lance. Oh man. I love this guy.  He brings out the best of me, and because of him I’ve seriously become so much of a better, kinder person.  He encourages me in my strengths and supports me in overcoming my weakness. My favorite person.

 

(The picture above is from Joanna & Will’s Sutro Baths engagement session.)

Whoa.

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Whoa.  It’s been a month since I blogged and ages since I’ve blogged regularly.  I have so much to blog about now! I’m not saying I’m going to suddenly get gung-ho again about blogging and blog everyday.  Let’s just be real. I haven’t been so bloggy-reliable lately, but I certainly do miss it.

September and October have been insanely CRAZY.  Maybe my life is always crazy, but sept/oct were especially crazy for me.  Let’s have a little fun recap because I love lists so much.

- I got engaged!
- We found a venue (after many bridezilla moments. woops!)
- I flew to New York.
- Shot a two-day wedding and portraits every day.
- Flew back to California and two days later shot Suzanne & Eugene’s fabulous wedding.
- Edited. Edited. Edited.
- Shot Joanna & Will’s sweet, sweet wedding.
- Took a red-eye that night to Birmingham for a week.
- Flew back to California… with a delayed flight and even more delayed luggage.
- Flew to Hawaii the next day. (yikes!)
- Walked around barefoot for practically all ten days of the trip.
- Return to California to shoot a wedding two days later.
- Road trip to Yosemite the day after for a very relaxing trip.
- Get home. rest. tackle jetlag.
- Photo shoot two days later.
- blog. woot.

breathe.

I have so much to share and so much to say about what a wonderful experience these months have been.  Hopefully I’ll be doing more than just listing.  But I’m glad to finally be home for a while.  Now for editing, wedding planning and packing.  My next big trip will be my move to Alabama as a wife! WHOA.

 

(The picture above is of San Francisco from Bernal Heights Park when Lance proposed and where he first told me he loved me a year ago.)

whoa.

I will stay should the world by me fold
Lift up Your name as the darkness falls
I will wait and hold fast to Your word
Heart on Your heart and my eyes on You

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Whoa mama. It’s been a long time since I last blogged.

It’s strange that I took such a long break from writing.  I love to blog.  Over seven years of blogging on this blog and several (dramatic) college years of blogging on another site, it never got old.  Blogging was a source of expression where I shared my inspiration and projects and growth.  It’d become a main source of therapy where I aired much of my heartbreak and struggles.  I loved blogging through it all.

But recently, as much as I wanted to, I just couldn’t find any real words or images to share.  I couldn’t share myself.  Because what was really going on was a lot of confusion.  Part of this hiatus was due to lots of work, but the other part was avoidance.  It’s been just over a year since my mom passed away.  And in taking a break from blogging, in some way I felt like I didn’t have to face that she’s been gone for a year already.  In all honesty it flew by.  I almost felt guilty that the year didn’t go by slower, that I didn’t suffer more.  After her death it was so bizarre how meaningless certain days became and how painfully meaningful other days were.

I just kind of wanted to disappear for a while.  And I pretty much did.  It’s a pretty easy thing to do.  It was so easy to keep everything inside, to cry alone silently, not letting anyone in my life know the kind of pain I was struggling with.  Opening up is such a double-ended sword.  Sharing helped to alleviate some of that mourning, but it also reminded me of why I was mourning.  And that constant fear that someone might mention it consumed me.

.   .   .   .   .

Then I went to counsel at CBM camp.  It’s a Christian high school camp I attended when I was younger and even counseled at while I was in college. It’d been years since I counseled, but I felt God calling me back this year.  I was so blessed with two other counselors and together we counseled 13 campers.  We were talking with our campers when a topic came up that just seemed appropriate for me to share my experience with my mom with the girls.  I shared how hard it was lose her and about my aching fear of losing my father.  I confessed how difficult it was to go through but how encouraged I felt to share it with others.  It was then that I was reminded as much as it does hurt to share my feelings with others, in the end it’s for the better.  God uses little things like that to share his love and bless us.  He is a constant source of peace, and He emerges in the smallest of acts, comforting and encouraging us as we navigate this crazy life of ours.

So anyway, long story short… God is good.  And I’m back to blogging!

I’ve been lovin the song, “Stay & Wait”, which the lyrics above are from the the video below is of.

 

Betty & Bryant

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Suzanne & Eugene

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Into the Woods We Go.

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Just a few pictures from Tuesday’s styled shoot in the Santa Cruz mountains.  I just couldn’t resist a little sneak peek.

And just for some deets. I shot the session with my canon 5dmarkii but that last shot was shot with my polaroid rangefinder on 3000B instant film.  swoon.